Figures (Part 4)

The People of the Cruise


There’s another crewman of uncertain function on this ship. He’s a large bouncer type, with a shaven head and a trim red beard, who wears suits made from fabric with all the sheen of a newly polished Mazda. Up until last night I’ve never seen him do anything other than lurk at scheduled functions, presumably just in case a gang of 80 year old Bulgarians decides to run riot. We assumed that he was part of the Security department, and we call him The Shiny Gorilla.


But I spoke to a friend that we’ve made in the ship’s Hospitality department. Apparently The Shiny Gorilla isn’t part of Security. He’s just a technician… which explains why we saw him operating the lighting rig in the theatre last night. He’s not a bouncer, he’s an audio visual geek. “Ah yes, that’s Raphaelo,” my new friend told me over drinks. When I asked about the shiny suits, her smile became slightly fixed and she said, “Hmmm, yes… he has a style all his own.” Reading between the lines, I get the feeling that The Shiny Gorilla’s role on this ship and the one he thinks he has are two entirely different things.


It’s hard being an Italian man.